Reflections on My Ordination by José Fetzer, S.J.

As a Jesuit religious, I see my role as facilitating the encounter between God and the human person. At times, this process involves explaining my experience of God and at other moments, this means walking in silent witness sharing people’s suffering. My different experiences of God have been illumined by the Spiritual Exercises. In the Spiritual Exercises, I have encountered the God of compassion and love who not only has made me into his image and likeness, but who has also called me not to fear because he has redeemed me and called me by name. I encountered a God who has spared his only Son, Jesus, for my sake. It is this Jesus who attracts and draws me to God, who accepts me with my weaknesses and strengths, and who gently calls me to trust and follow him. It is this understanding that is at the center of my desire to become a Jesuit priest.

I never imagined even in my wildest dreams that I will be called by Jesus to join his least Society. Yet, it took me four years of stubborn resistance to say yes to His call. I remember the excitement and anticipation upon receiving the news that I was accepted to the Jesuit Novitiate. I also remember Fr. Joseph Reising’s advice to me “be brave and trusting and God will take care of the rest”. It has been this confidence and trust in God that allows me to continue in my journey of faith.

The novitiate introduced me to Jesus in a more profound way. It was during this time that I got to know Jesus more profoundly and intimately during the thirty day Spiritual Exercises. The experiences of the Spiritual Exercises are embedded in my heart and it seems that the rest of my Jesuit existence will be spent rediscovering these experiences in the different events and circumstances of my daily life and sharing them with others. It was during this time that my vocation to the Society of Jesus was confirmed as a gift from God and as an invitation to serve and share with others the love and compassion that I have generously received.

The different apostolic experiments during the novitiate provided me not only with a glimpse of God’s love for us in the world, but they also allowed me to discover the many faces of Jesus in the different places and people that I encountered. The novitiate experience not only gave me a good perspective in the Society of Jesus but also reaffirmed my vocation to become a Jesuit. I am moved with a great desire to serve the Church as “soldier of God beneath the banner of the cross” in the Society of Jesus and to “serve the Lord alone and the Church, his spouse, under the Roman Pontiff, the vicar of Christ on earth.” I am drawn to Jesuit spirituality of finding God in all things and to the idea of becoming a man for others ready to be sent wherever the need is the greatest. I am edified and touched by the example of Jesuits witnessing to the Gospel around the world. I have a great desire to share my experience of God with others as a Jesuit.

I was blessed and fortunate to live in a wonderful community during my time in philosophy studies. I found the combination of personalities and talents living under one roof to be refreshing. We helped each other out in dealing with philosophical issues and engaged in some apostolic work. I recalled working with a CLC prayer group, teaching catechism to Korean children, and working in the Jesuit infirmary. One experience stands out. During the Mass of Anointing of the Holy Spirit at the Jesuit infirmary, I vividly recalled seeing Fr. Huse, our community rector, laying hands on each of the attending elderly Jesuits. For a fraction of a second I knew in my heart that what he was doing is what I want and desire to do the rest of my life. I often have recalled this experience in my heart and found it profoundly consoling.

For my regency I was missioned to Jesuit College Preparatory School in Dallas, Texas. The experience was a very good one for my growth. The students challenged me daily in many different ways. I learned to be patient and slow to anger. I learned to do my best and to trust that God will do the rest. I gave myself entirely to teaching Spanish as a second language. To have been missioned to the school gave me the opportunity to experience and learn not only how difficult and demanding the high school apostolate can be, but also how rich and rewarding. I learned that the role of the Jesuit goes beyond his obvious duties. As a religious, I learned that I am ministering to the faculty and parents as well. As a religious I am not only representing myself, but also Jesus, the Church, and the Society of Jesus.

My last stage of formation before ordination has been the study of theology at Weston Jesuit School of Theology where I am about to graduate with Master of Divinity and a Master of Theology. The study of different theological disciplines has broadened my education. I am grateful for all the courses and experiences that I had while doing the program in school. The different studies that I have been exposed throughout my formation not only has taught me analytical and critical skills, but also taught me to respect and value the pursuit of knowledge. What I learned during my theological studies was supplemented by different summer experiences. For example, the retreat practicum at Our Lady of Montserrat in Lake Dallas and the Arrupe experience in Colorado. In Lake Dallas, I experienced the art of giving the Spiritual Exercises to a diverse group of people. To give the Spiritual Exercises is to relate one’s experience of God with others. Although there is a great amount of preparation when one gives the Spiritual Exercises, ultimately is sharing what one is and has with others. It is sharing one’s experience as a loved sinner with others. It has been during these moments of sharing where the desire to become a Jesuit priest has been the strongest. There are moments where I long to bring Christ sacramentally to people. There have been many moments where I could have facilitated the encounter between people and God more fully or deeply as a priest. As a priest, I could have allowed Christ to use me more fully in bringing souls to Him. During the Arrupe experience, I encountered Jesus who continues to invite me to be His disciple in the Society of Jesus. The retreat was spent in Jesus’ heart in the presence of God the Father. I have a sense that my Jesuit vocation is initiated by God who has called my by name and placed me with His son. I have a sense that my desire to share my life with others emanates from having experienced God’s love and compassion. It is a desire filled with gratitude for what God has done for me. Although I am full of imperfections, I deeply believe that whatever is lacking in me will be completed by Christ. Ultimately, Christ acts in and through me allowing me to reach out to others and to grow into His image and likeness.

It is for these reasons that I desire to become a Jesuit priest. It is in the Society of Jesus that my desire to serve God continues to be nourished. I believe that the Lord is calling me to become a priest in the Society of Jesus so that I can become a more effective instrument of His love. There is nothing that I desire more than to be a Jesuit priest for the rest of my life.

Watch a video of the highlights of Fr. Fetzer's ordination.